Carnival of Aces: Call for Submissions

This month I will be hosting the Carnival of Aces! For details on the Carnival of Aces you can check out the details here.

Having in mind that lately there has been talk in the ace community about the connections between religion and asexuality, I thought it would be a good idea if this month’s Carnival of Aces was related. So I chose the theme Religion and Asexuality. Alternatively Atheism and Asexuality for those who prefer to talk about it from another point of view.

Spade recently made a post which listed a set of links written by religious people that talk about asexuality and their experiences as an asexual in religious spaces, but it would be great if we could hear more about other’s perspectives on this topic.

Do you find any connection between your religion and your asexual identity? You might want to write about your own experiences as a religious person in asexual spaces, or as an asexual in religious spaces.

Submissions in any form are welcome (written, drawn, audio, video, etc.). To submit you can comment below with a link or email me at readqueer@gmail.com . Guess posts are also welcome!

Good luck to everyone!

Sex is the biggest nothing of all time

Pleasure. That’s this month’s topic for the Carnival of Aces over at The Pleasure’s All Mine. I’m thinking that thepleasuresallmine chose this theme on purpose –also considering the subject of her blog in general- just to hear all of our little dark secrets, but she won’t be getting much from me considering I am not sexually active in any way nor do I masturbate.
I’ll start with clearing up one thing first. I have decided that I will and want to die a virgin (how can I miss something I never tried?). That makes me a celibate ace, I guess. It doesn’t bother me in the least what people will think; why would I have to have such an intimate moment with somebody if I myself don’t feel that it’s important nor want it. I hardly have a libido and am also sex-repulsed. The sex itself doesn’t disgust me, but ever since I remember I am reluctant towards bones and muscles; that leads to me not wanting to touch anyone, neither animals, because I feel that I will break into pieces by their touch. I swear it isn’t personal.
Another factor for not wanting to partake in a sexual relationship is my dysphoria. Thankfully I don’t have strong body –or social– dysphoria, but surely there are things, such as sex, that will trigger it. And I am not going to take my chances.
I also doubt I will ever find somebody who I trust enough to have that kind of relationship with. I dislike being vulnerable. They say “there’s somebody for everyone”, which I don’t really doubt much, especially since in my case the statement is true (I am popular enough with the lads when I present femme), but me being aromantic doesn’t permit me to return the feelings.
I am aware that there are many kinds of pleasure, not just the physical. I would like to say I am an incredibly interesting person and that my hobbies range from east to west, but truth be told my obsession with Japan touches all the corners of my life. It started with a manga and then proceeded to have me studying Japanese culture, history, language, religion and anything related. So you could say that I get my pleasure in digesting more useless facts I will never need about a country at the other side of the world. Reading, cartoons, the internet and drawing also keep me content. Call me childish if you must, but I prefer to say I’m simply not interested in physical pleasure.

Dean_Martin_everybody_loves_somebody

Ace Obstacles

This is my second post for the Carnival of Aces. Actually, I hardly think this even counts as a post because it is only a few lines long, but I wanted to write something about this topic before the month ended. Anyway, the theme of May is “Obstacles” and is hosted over at LGBTeen.

The biggest obstacle I have had regarding coming out as asexual or simply just identifying as asexual is definitely the lack of obstacles. When telling somebody about my orientation, they simply disregarded it telling me not to worry, that I’d one day fall in love and want to have sex with somebody, that asexuality doesn’t exist, that everyone goes through a faze like this. Nobody cared in the least to even tell me that they were happy I figured out who I am. Nobody believed me when I said I was ace. Nobody who wasn’t queer even understood what the term meant.

I guess now would be a great time to complain about the misrepresentation of asexuality in the media and somehow manage to make myself look good by saying that I do my best at teaching people about the topic, but many people have already made great posts about that.

Instead I’ll just go with the bragging. I sent a message to a youth sex section of the radio telling them about asexuality. The sex therapist that goes there every Monday to answer teen’s questions had been asking me privately about the topic a few days before, when I sent her the message, and I cleared up any misconception she had about asexuality. She then read it in front of whole Catalonia and Andorra. Hopefully that shed light on some confused younglings that might be asexual. The other day I also mentioned that a couple from the book I was being examined about in literature class was probably asexual. At least the teacher will know what the word means.

I think I’m getting good at this visibility thing.

Asexuality, video games and the future

For the first time, I will be participating in the Carnival of aces, which theme this month is “Analogies to an Asexual Experience”. I had a hard time understanding the topic, mainly because of the word analogy; it isn’t a word I usually come across, let alone use, and had to read and re-read the explanatory post many times. But I think I finally managed to understand. In situations like these, I often tend to blame my lack of comprehension on the fact that I don’t live, and haven’t lived since I was a kid, in an English-speaking country, instead of just accepting the fact that I don’t have a vast knowledge of difficult English words – not that the word analogy is that difficult though.

Luvtheheaven, this month’s host, suggested writing about something else we don’t experience other than sexual attraction, such as not understanding why all of the other people in my peer group enjoy playing video games, while I don’t. I thought this was curious because I frequent many manganime spaces where all we talk about is drawing, dressing-up, watching anime and playing video games. I hardly watch anime anymore and, though I will not admit this in real life, have only played one videogame before (at a friend’s house). I love to read manga, however, and hardly understand why people fuss so much over an anime or game when the manga equivalent is so much better – it’s like saying the Harry Potter movies are better than the books (don’t get me wrong, the films are great, but J.K. Rowling’s words are incomparable)-, which could also be compared to how I feel about sexual attraction. But I won’t get into manga because, if I properly start, I will not finish any time soon.

Truth be told, even though I identify as a grey-demiromantic gynosensual asexual, I don’t often frequent ace spaces. Precisely because I basically lack any kind of sexual or romantic attraction, I don’t really think about it much. I found a label I feel comfortable with and proceeded to file it in my mental drawer for self-identification terms, under the big packages and pieces of paper that correspond to my gender, which for some reason keep popping up again and again.

I actually couldn’t care less about my (lack of) sexuality; I might fall in love someday and later on feel some sort of sexual attraction to a special specific person, which is great. What is also great is that I might never find anybody hug-worthy or feel that I will want to sleep with anyone. What would be the greatest of all is that I might fall in love and start an asexual (sensual) relationship with a gorgeous lady with short hair who likes manga and doesn’t question my gender identity, who happens to find sexual satisfaction with another lovely partner who prefers the Harry Potter books to the movies, therefore creating a gay (as in happy) polyamorous relationship. It would also be great if one of them was rich and shares their money with me.

I am young and my future is unknown to me; I don’t know who I will meet or who I will like or dislike. I am not going to fret over my sexuality as long as it isn’t important to do so.

I would usually end my post here, but since I think I failed at writing something about this month’s theme (analogy!), I guess I will bring up the topic from before. I really don’t understand why people enjoy video games so much. Nor do I understand why people like sex so much. Nor do I understand why I bite my ring fingers’ nails more than any other fingers’ nails.